ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
