Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
