I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
