The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
