So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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