True but thats because hes a fetus.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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