season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
