ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
