He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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