sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
