i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
