there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
