Where did you get a picture of my penis
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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