The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
