omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
