you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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