Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
