he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
