I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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