I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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