how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
