He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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