Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
