If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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