I cannot find my penis.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
