I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Don't make out with my wife yet
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
