I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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