im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
