weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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