she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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