It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
