She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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