trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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