I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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