how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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