I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
