I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize