Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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