fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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