What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
