Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
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