Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I am available for nakedness
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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