singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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