what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
