just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize