No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
