Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I understand Curling. That high.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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