the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
