what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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