You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
