But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
