I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
