all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
When did angry sex become our thing?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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