i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize
