THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
