i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
