Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize