Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
