Where did you get a picture of my penis
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
