judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
