You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
