I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
