he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
