i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
did i just pee glitter
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