i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
