Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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