The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
