If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
