I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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