Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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