Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
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