More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
